Thoughts about food.

Today I was eating a saltine. After a long, hot, outdoor run (and yes, I enjoyed it) and the salt and the texture tasted so good.

I was so present in the moment of eating that saltine.

I think I had an epiphany.

As long as I am eating and enjoying every level of the food, then it is ok. Using all five senses to enjoy it and really feeling and tasting it.

I think if I do this and the moment I stop using every sense to enjoy the food to stop eating.

This may in fact be the trick to finding the, "I can eat anything I want and as much of it as I want and still look great" phenomenon that those rare aliens speak about.

I don't know, but man those saltines tasted good. And I am content. Ahhh.

MIA.

I wrote about this on my other blog, but this blog warrants a blurb as well.

I have been busy living life. Taking classes at the new gym, logging a few miles and just enjoying the warm sunshine.

I have been checked out from technology.

It has been nice.

I think I will be back to blogging, but I can't make any promises.

Sorry, just trying to keep it real.

When is your next marathon?

I get asked this question quite often. And rightfully so. The goal was twelve in twelve months. And clearly, that is not going to happen.

First it started with the weird foot injury. Then it was too little recovery time. And then it was just no longer fun.

Running was (and hopefully will be again) my me time. Where I could escape and be with my thoughts. No tugging little fingers, nagging housework, nagging real work, etc. And suddenly, the very thing that was what I did to escape the demands of life became a demand itself.

It was always there. Three miles wasn't enough. Five. Not enough. NOTHING WAS EVER ENOUGH.

All of a sudden I was that post pardum gal again that could not handle life. To top it off, I was lonely.

A little background on that. We move every three to five years. READ: we don't have a lot of friends in close proximity. Both Ralph and I work from home. READ: we don't have office interactions. Until three months ago, Gia went to a babysitter. READ: we interacted with one person other than the Three T's in person on a daily basis. I was training at forty to sixty miles a week. READ: by myself.

That is a pretty lonely existence. Like SERIOUSLY lonely. So in early April taking the above into consideration, Ralph and I decided to join a gym.

Now this is not any gym, because I HATE THOSE. This is really more of a spa that has amazing Les Mill's classes and random large pieces of equipment scattered through out. If you are in the Sacramento area, check it out http://www.trufitness.com .

I will tell you more on that later.

But, for now this is what we are doing. Taking classes. (you can't pay me to get on a piece of equipment) I have not yet made any "friends", I think that that will come. But for now just having a very high level conversation is enough. And I actually think that I am in better shape now. Which just proves how comfortable I had become with long distances.

For now, I don't know when my next marathon is. But I am still committed to living a very healthy, active life.

I am looking into a 5k. Now that sounds like fun.

Realizations that oddly come from running.

I am big boned. And by that I don't mean that I am overweight and attribute it to my big bones. I truly am big boned. At my thinnest I weigh about 145 pounds. And that for me is very, very skinny. And also my goal weight.

Example- my wedding ring is a size 8.5. On days when I have had too much salt, it is snug.

Ralph has frequently (as in three times) questioned by jewelers if I am a very large gal.

I feel like I look pretty darn good in exercise clothes. I love gladiator sandals. And just today I realized why....because they cover the widest part of my foot.

It is amazing how when I wear those absolutely precious sandals that have a single strap up the middle of my foot how incredibly large my entire silhouette appears.

And then it hit me....it is because of my gigantically, abnormal wide foot is amplified.

So today I am taking a boat load of cute sandals to Goodwill (let me know if you wear a size nine and are in need of a ridiculous amount of summer sandals). I am sticking with ballet flats and sandals that have some sort of food hiding involved.

Crazy how being athletic leads to other epiphanies in life.

Just wearing gladiators makes me feel thinner. Even if it is in my own mind, it does.

And I am ok with that.

Little slips, to the slippery slope.

The fitness thing I pretty much have down. I love a good sweat. That really great feeling you get after ridiculous amounts of activity. It is the diet that I struggle with. I am such a weird person. I love, love, love, fruits and veggies. So much so that I have toyed with becoming a vegan....not just a vegetarian, but full on vegan.

On the flip side, I am from Texas and an occasional rare steak is a great treat (Laura, I am confident that you may have just thrown up a little just now....my apologies.)

But the meat thing is not really my problem. Nor is the junk thing. I love McDonald's. This we know, but I really can limit it and only indulge on occasion.

My problem is cheese.

I eliminated all dairy for this simple fact. Giving myself the exception of really special occasions (Pebble Beach Food and Wine Festival, Paris, etc).

But after Pebble Beach, I have been on the slippery cheese slope.

I feel like an adulterer.

Extreme and dramatic? Check. This is who I am at my very core.

But I do. I purchased a hunk of Gorgonzola today and felt a rush of blood due to the excitement of doing something wrong.

I used cream to make whip cream for strawberries today.

Oh, I am sliding. I have to get back on the program. Dairy makes such a HUGE difference in the way I feel and in the way my body holds on to fat that I don't want to eat it. But I do.

Cheese. You are so wrong, but you feel so right.

Say, spin-what!!?!

I have done spinning three days in a row. I am in pretty darn good shape and it is seriously kicking and bruising my butt. Seriously.

I have to say that I think this diversion from running is actually putting me in better shape. I think that I had just settled into a routine that was keeping me at a plateau. But this spinning thing. Criminy. It is hard core.

Sweat.

Huffing.

Puffing.

I think, I hope that I am burning mad crazy calories.

Now, if I could only get my bottom to stop bruising.

I should have written sooner.

But I have not. I have been participating in my three a days, but not in the normal way. I am doing things that I truly enjoy. Which includes running, but is not the sole form of exercise. Furthermore, I have not run a marathon in over thirty days and I feel GREAT. I am not sure what this means, but I just want to be honest with the blogging world. I am WAY off my goal of twelve in twelve. Like working for a start up, there is a trajectory and we must deal with that or we will drive ourselves crazy.

Hubs and I are embarking on some yoga work and I am really excited about that. I am also excited at the thought of doing things WITH someone versus alone. Running is a haven...without a doubt, but as much running as I have done alone can become bothersome.

So here I am, running, but maybe not as cool as it started out to be.

Yikes.